Full Circle

Yesterday was not just a once in a lifetime event because of the solar eclipse, it was also my first day back to school! For those of you who don't already know, I am now a P.h.D student and am enrolled in the English Creative Writing Nonfiction program at Oklahoma State University.  

I've always wanted to get a P.h.D, but it was never quite my time. Looking back, I would never have imagined the journey I took to get to this moment, but Alhumdulilah! God is good and always on time!!!

About 20 years ago, I became a McNair Scholar and signed a contract in which I agreed to acquire the highest degree I could in academia. After completing my B.A at Coppin State College in English, I was accepted at Ohio State University and received my M.A. in African and African American Studies.

The day I defended my thesis, I immediately packed up my dorm room and hit the highway. I knew I was done with school for a while. I needed out!

I'll admit it, immediately after completing my M.A., I was offered to work as a professor at 3 different universities and invited to get a P.h.D at all 3 schools.

I declined.

I had more important work to do. I knew I needed to take time to deal with the pain, anger, the hurt and utter confusion I had accumulated from childhood trauma.

So instead of heading back to school or starting a profession, where I could easily continue to get straight A's and ignore my issues,  I took three years to heal. For three years, I screamed, hollered, prayed, fasted, discovered who I was, and most importantly forgave and learned to love me. I sifted and searched through my soul to arrive at self-acceptance, appreciation, and knowledge of self. I traveled, not only physically but mentally and spiritually. It took three long, hard, but immensely rewarding years to arrive at a place that had allowed me to gain the outline for my mission on this Earth.

During those three years, I made sense of all that I had experienced as a child. I digested the lessons attached to those experiences and as a result felt ready to begin a family.

For the next ten years, I stayed home and established a foundation as a mother and wife. Four children later, a foundation in place, I felt it was time to strike out! I became a certified English teacher and spent three exciting years living my dream as an educator.

Now...

Now, I've come full circle and I am first and foremost ready to fulfill my contract as a McNair scholar.  Most importantly though, I am ready to conquer some of my biggest dreams, and set the bar high for my own children and other black boys and girls that will have to do as I did and rise like a phoenix from the ashes! Carpe Diem!